I Follow in my Father’s Slutty Footsteps

Despite my attempt to ignore my dad holding her hand, the gleam of light emanating from her glacier sized diamond caught my gaze. Gross! Not only was it uncomfortable to see my father hitting on anyone but this was a married woman. And she had THE RING to prove it. And he has a girlfriend that he just told me that he wants to marry. This was not fiancé behavior.
She leaned over to me. “You’re dad’s very flirtatious. He’s holding my hand and I’m married.” I apologized to her. “But you know, I kind of like it. He’s very touchy. I never get touched at home.”

“I’m not involved,” I said to her and went back to talking to her 60 year old desperate friend who was trying to set me up with her son so we could be “travel buddies.” I’d never met her son and he actually sounded pretty cool. He was a forest fire fighter and liked to backpack. Obviously I wasn’t really going to travel with her son but at least she was someone to talk to and I didn’t have to watch my dad aggressively flirt.

“I’m uncomfortable with this,” the married lady said, grabbing my arm. How weird. I really don’t like to be touched by little women. “But I kind of like it. You’re dad’s kind of perfect.” Ugh.

“This is so uncomfortable,” I said to my dad. “She’s married.”

“Why,” he asked? And started fist bumping.

“You’re dad’s really drunk,” the married lady said. Yup, no shit.

“She’s married and I’m single. He’s hitting on her even though she’s married. It’s because she’s really skinny. I don’t have the perfect body but…” I tuned out and put my hand over my head. What was my life?

After dinner, we all got in a cab. I wanted to go out and was dragging my dad along with me. He was trying to get the married woman to come. But it didn’t work. The women got out of the cab at their hotel, The Ritz.

“You could have done a better job getting her to come,” said my dad to me when they got out.

“Are you serious?! SHE WAS MARRIED! AND YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!”

Brown out

My dad and I were in a fight. And I’d lost him. So I got in a cab with $0 to my name and my dad’s credit card and asked to go back to the W hotel. When I got there I told the cab driver that I was going to go get my dad to pay. I figured I’d either just dip or if my dad was willing, maybe he would pay. But he wasn’t in the room. I opened the bottle of wine that we’d bought and texted my dad asking him where he was. He didn’t respond so I downed some wine and headed to the bar downstairs.

My dad and I got the wine at this vinyard

I sat at the bar and there were a couple of people that I recognized from going out 2 nights prior. They were all talking about pisco sours so I ordered 1 without sugar. It was terrible. I’d had them the other night somewhere else without sugar and they were great but when I commented on how bad it was, I was told it was because of the absence of sugar. I turned around and there he was. The Californian guy. My face turned red. “I’m so sorry for being so annoying the other night!” I said.

“It’s fine. We were both drunk.” Cool! He didn’t seem to care at all and apologized for not saying hi earlier when I’d seen him with his sister. He introduced me to his uncle.

“I heard so much about you!” I said excitedly. The Californian guy had told me how funny his uncle was the night before. The uncle immediately through out some joke.

Apparently the Californian guy, his sister, and some other people were going to some club. They invited me to join. “That’s great! I was trying to go out tonight,” I said. I was finished with my drink and we were leaving soon so I asked for my check. When I got the bill, it had the whole tables drinks on it: mine, the Cali guys, his sister, his uncle, and his uncle’s girlfriend’s. But it was only 25,000 which is like $37 and I didn’t want to make a big deal about that amount at the W hotel with a group that was going heliskiing for a week so I just signed it to the room. I’d apologize to my dad in the morning.
Brown out

I was in the trunk of an Uber

Brown out

I cut the line and snuck into the club and realized that nobody had come with me. So I got my hand stamped and left to go rejoin the group. Nobody believed me that is been inside already so I enter through the line for returners to prove it.

When we got inside I ordered a vodka soda at the bar and for the first time since I got to Chile, actually paid for something with my own $. Well my own credit card but same thing. I pay the bill.

Brown out

I was a little. How unlike me.

Brown out

What was going on on stage?! It was some crazy male stripper, S&M, cabaret shit. Cool! I was talking to Cali guys sister and we were bonding over how weird it was.
Black out

I’m going to go back to the W. I start getting dressed. I was weirdly calm for waking up at some random man’s place on a vacation with my father. But I was still drunk. “Where did I meet you? At the club,” I asked

“No, we first met at the W.” Really? I didn’t remember this guy at all. Apparently he worked for Google though. So cool! And he was pretty hot. He got me an Uber back to the W and I went straight to breakfast. I messaged my dad to come get breakfast with me. At first he was angry and threatening me but we decided that we both fucked up last night and that it was best to just forget that it ever happened.

The free breakfast buffet had everything that you could dream of!
bloody bar
mimosa bar
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