When You Get Sucked Into a Boat Party

Mac was trying to pursuade me to go to some boat party for 150q but I really couldn’t be bothered to waist my 1st day in San Pedro, Guatemala blacking out with Israelis. Nothing against Israelies- it’s just that 1. I don’t speak Hebrew and I’m lost in a group of them. I know they speak English but when they’re in a group, I think they’d prefer to speak their 1st language 2. I’d rather get to know Guatemalans in Guatemala and Israelis in Israel. And if I’m not going to get to know Guatemalans, I’d prefer to meet people from all over the world rather than just from 1 country. But after some negotiating with Mac, I agreed to go for 50q.

Mac was talking to a Brit named Rory that he’d met on his way to San Pedro. I think he was the only non-Israeli on the boat

“Those are some European shorts that you have on,” I said to Rory.

He was wearing bright pink, short swim trunks. He explained that they were his douche shorts and that guys who dress like he is now are douches. Awesome! I love to label people in a joking manner.

“I have an embarrassing story about Sabrina,” says Mac. “But you tell one about you 1st.”

Rory and I tilt our heads.

“I doubt that I’ll find it embarrassing,” I smirked. I couldn’t imagine that Crazy Mac would know any kind of embarrassing story about me.

Rory told us about a time in Argentina when he and his friends ran onto the stage of a big festival that was taking place the next day. A cop saw them and came at them with a big gun. But instead of shooting them, he knocked them against their heads with it.

“Why didn’t he ask for $?” I asked.

Apparently power tripping was his thing. “That was a great story but I don’t know what part of it was embarrassing,” I suggested.

Mac proceeded to tell the story of the time that I brought a homeless man home. I suppose that’s embarrassing.

Rory, Mac, and I all went to grab another free drink and Mac told his embarrassing story.

Rory’s turn: He was working for a camping contiki tour and he was fired for “literally nothing,” he said. He got drunk and came late too many times or something. It was his last day and he had the opportunity to get with this hot ginger with big boobs.

“Are you religious,” she asked while sucking his dick. He wasn’t but he’d grown up going to Catholic school. He even went to a Catholic uni.

She told him to recite the prayer in order for her to keep sucking his dick. He had to recite it over and over again.

“I completely disrespected my whole life’s teachings. And you know what? It was really hot.”

Mac was excited. He thought that it definitely sounded hot.

He continued the story saying that the girl couldn’t have sex with him because his penis was too big. Mac said that the girl must have been a virgin, not quite catching what Rory was throwing out there.

I told my story about the time that I cheated on my boyfriend with the wrong Ben.

Mac left to get us some more drinks and Rory tried to kiss me. I pulled away.

“I don’t think it’s a good time,” I explained. I didn’t want to PDA before people even got drunk.

Brown out

This unflattering pic happened during that brownout

It was pouring rain and we headed inside the boat. I was confused about the concept of this boat party. Why was everyone in bathing suits if there was no swimming. What was the point of still being on the boat if it was raining? Rory was entertaining me though so it was fine.

Black out

“I’m so hungry. Let’s get some food,” I barely remember myself saying for the 16th time. I was lying naked in Rory’s bed. He had gotten a private room at Zoola because that’s all that they had and luckily for him, he had gotten some use out of it. Apparently. Had we had sex? I could care less. I just wanted to eat. It was almost 10pm and I hadn’t eaten since like 7AM. And I don’t do that.

Finally we got up. My clothes were soaked so I borrowed his pink pair of swim trunks and button down tee with parrots on it. I was happy that the shorts were a little big. I never borrow guys pants because I have a big butt and hips so I get nervous that they’d be small. But Rory was 6’3 and muscular and I was drunk so I took the chance.

We walked into the restaurant and sat down with Rory’s friends.

Β I ordered a falafel and Rory got a burger. He had 1 bite and decided that he couldn’t possibly eat any more. I scarfed down my falafel so much so that I don’t even remember eating it. Rory ordered a giant beer and we decided to go back to his bed.

“Do you have a condom?” I asked, staring straight at a pack lying on his other bed. The room was meant to be for 2 people.

“Yeah, somewhere,” he started. Oh come on. We were looking in the same direction. “But we didn’t use 1 last time.” Fuck. Fuck. I’ve been such an idiot ever since I started dating Tommy. We don’t use condoms so I forget about it.

“I guess it doesn’t matter then. Do you have any diseases?” I asked.

“You asked me last time. I got checked a few months ago and didn’t. From the sounds of it, I should be more worried about you.”

“I always use condoms. Except with my boyfriend and once this other guy.”

We had sex again. His dick was big (as referenced in the ginger girl story) but nothing crazy. He had a nice penis though


3 thoughts on “When You Get Sucked Into a Boat Party

  1. Hello. Cool post. 😊
    I just wanted to say that when I visit your blog from my computer, I get a screen sayin: “Oh no, this blog’s domain explorgasmatruestory.com expired!” (It also says that the domain name will soon be canceled, and it tells me to contact the owner of the blog to tell them. So this is me telling you.. 😊

    (When I use wordpress with my cell phone though, I can see your blog just fine)…


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