I looked at the only other thing in the room that wasn’t white, the exit sign, and decided to take it literally.
I’m legally at a bar in NYC for the 1st time with my sister, Juliette, when a tall British guy approaches us. We’re talking and inform him that we’re sisters.
“Who’s older?” He asks. He guesses Juliette but we inform him that she’s old 18. He immediately switches from trying to hit on both of us to just trying to hit on me. Juliette is a big fan of British George and encourages me to exchange numbers with him. Luckily George asks me for mine.
George and I play texting tag to the point where I figure that we’re never going to meet up. But then we do. He invites me to his place for a drink.
I get in the elevator at his complex and when the elevator door opens, I am right inside his apartment. There is no hallway, just 1 big apartment. It’s super nice. He’s in finance.
George is sitting in the kitchen and asks me what I’d like to drink. Whiskey on the rocks. We sit on the couch enjoying our drinks but it’s sort of awkward. George and I don’t have too much to talk about. He invites me to his room.
Oh. I guess we’re not actually going to go anywhere.
Oh well. I’ve only had sex once since Kyle and I broke up and I don’t even remember it. It’s not that I don’t want to jump on George, it’s just that I was hoping to do something fun 1st.
His room is entirely white. The walls, sheets, blankets, all white. It’s so clean and fresh looking! That’s a turn on for me despite the fact that my room is a mess.
British George’s shuts off his lights and the room is illuminated by a red exit sign. He calls it the red light district. He informs me that his bed is a tempur-pedic and that I should try it out.
Real clever British George. Whatever, I’ll pretend to be a dumb slut.
I take my clothes off and he tells me that I have the best “bum” that he’s ever seen. He asks me how I got it and if I do squats. Ugh I hate talking about exercise. I think gyms are boring and I have no interest.
Then we have sex. It wasn’t the greatest sex I’ve had by any means but it was just nice to have sex again. And his bed really was super comfortable.
After we went downstairs and bought some food. Then we had some more sex and went to sleep in his amazingly comfortable tempur-pedic bed.
I hooked up with British George a bunch of times after. One time I had my period. I told him that I didn’t want to come over for that reason but he said that he didn’t mind.
I didn’t place much value in my bootie call based relationship with the man so I figured it was fine. But there was a small stain on his sheets after I left. He didn’t mind. But I was embarrassed staining his perfectly white sheets. I stained his perfectly white room! I looked at the only other thing in the room that wasn’t white, the exit sign, and decided to take it literally. I never saw British George again.