Oh this guy… He was living at a hotel on the Upper West Side in NYC. It was very nice. He, on the other hand, was not.
He attempted to persuade me that Australians don’t use condoms. Did he really think that I was that big of an idiot? It’s not like he was from Nauru or Brunei. I’d met tons of Aussies. I’d even slept with tons of Aussies! And even if Australians didn’t use condoms, I didn’t care because maybe that line had worked on a dumb bitch or 2 and he had an STD.
I dragged him to Duane Reade, the drug store down the block. He was almost too embarrassed to buy the condoms. Seriously. Turns out his dick was tiny. The fucking finance boy was probably a virgin. Cute though. That’s what I get for going to the douchiest bar in Manhattan, The 13th Step.