Crazy Mac

I returned to Jay’s apartment to find Mac laying shirtless on his bed starting at his laptop screen computer. “I want to start a YouTube channel,” Mac told me. He wanted to make funny videos where he messed with people.

Mac’s idea for a video was to have a well dressed man asking for a dollar standing beside beggar asking for spare change. And all passers give their money to the well dressed man. I told him that this was a social experiment and that I thought that it had been done before. But Mac way far too excited about his idea to care.

I got bored and went on Tinder of Mac’s Youtube talk and went on Tinder. He asked me what I was doing and I told him. He seemed doubtful but I set up his account. Then we both got bored and he suggested that we go to the park. Along the way, we passed a fair. I had the idea to go and get free food when the fair ended tomorrow.

We walked in the park for a while while Mac further explained the importance of a good wingman. Jay was a good wingman. Mac had taught Jay how to get girls and now Jay had surpassed Mac. Mac told me about all the great girls that he’d had in the past. He was pretty redundant. He told lots of jokes that weren’t funny. I didn’t laugh and he got upset. We were close to the English Garden, which Mac thought was the coolest part of the park, because people surfed in the river.

photo 5 (2)
I eventually made it to the English Gardens and it was actually pretty cool

But I started becoming very dizzy. I thought that I was dehydrated. I kept having to lay down. I didn’t care what Mac thought of me, partially because he was so annoying and partially because I felt so sick.

Eventually, Mac and I made it to some place with water. Mac stole me a bottle and I flopped down on a brown, faux velvet couch and chugged it. Mac went outside and played Foosball with a man and his son.

Mac was getting pretty bored and suggested that we go to the spa that he’d been telling me about. I hadn’t wanted to go but now that I was a little loopy, it didn’t sound like such a bad idea.

On the way, it began to pour so Mac suggested that we hide out under an awning. Lots of other people hid there too. My lips were chattering, goosebumps covered my body, and my stomach was churning. I just wanted to get to the Marriott already. It was worth getting drenched in a chilly shower. But Mac wanted to wait. So I curled up into a ball as best as I could in stiff, high waisted jean shorts and rubbed my legs.

Eventually the rain stopped and we made our way to the Marriott. We talked outside the elevators as if we weren’t paying any attention and when someone came by, we entered the elevator with them. We didn’t have a room key because we weren’t staying in a hotel so we didn’t have access to the elevator.

We went into the spa room. Mac told me to go to the locker room and put on a robe. I was nervous to ask for a lock and so I brought my phone with me. I also left my bra and underwear on because I wasn’t at the level with Mac. And hoped to never be. Apparently he was with me. He was completely naked.

“Is your chest missing some hair,” I asked. It had bald patches. It was also dyed bleach blonde to match his hair.

“I shaved a smiley face into it,” he said proudly.

“I don’t see it.” And then, unfortunately, I did.


the scaffolding guy


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