The Man With the Baby

When I arrived at the apartment, I was surprised to see a 40 year old looking man with a baseball cap and a bleached blonde ponytail underneath. I was expecting a younger looking, cute guy like his friend, Jay. Or at least like what I had seen of Jay in the photo.

photo 1

We introduced ourselves and Mac asked if I wanted to go out. I said that I did but I’d like to shower first. Mac said to hurry up because we were already running late. I showered as quickly as possible. 

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“What kinds of places do you like?” Asked Mac.

“I like all types of places but I prefer more casual places.”

“Ok, why don’t you put on something nice and I’ll show you a cool area.” I put on my leather romper and a pair of black heels.

We each had a beer and headed out. On the walk over, Mac explained that he was looking for a wingman. He wanted to get married soon but he hadn’t met the right girl. Well, he had, but she got away. A few girls, a few different times. But Mac believed that in order to get the “right kind of girl,” the “right kind of way,” a wingman was necessary. I told Mac that I didn’t think that he would meet the “right kind of girl” at a bar at all. And if he did, the girl wouldn’t be thinking about meeting a husband at the bar. He didn’t agree and said that he would explain further later.

I told Mac that I designed shoes and Mac told me that he owned some Luis Vuitton thing. I told him that “not to sound hipster, but I don’t care about labels.” He said that he never cared but his friend, Jay, was very into fashion and he’d gotten Mac more into it. Jay loved Louis Vuitton.

Crazy Mac apparently liked fancy places so we went to the area with clubs. He told me that he could get in anywhere. I told him that I could probably get in if he can because I’m a girl but he said that Munich isn’t like that. We went up to a club that said that there’s a 10 euro cover. Thankfully Mac wasn’t about that. Mac tried to explain that he’s on some list but the bouncer wasn’t having it. We try a bunch of tactics at a bunch of clubs but to no avail. I told him that I could probably get in by myself and its harder with 2 people. He told me that it’s better with 2 people. I really had to go to the bathroom at this point and we’d been trying to get into clubs for what felt like an hour.

“You probably have to know someone. Like a promoter,” I suggested. I went up to some pretty girls and asked if they knew anyone on the list. They didn’t. Nobody seemed to know because as we waited at clubs, everyone seemed to have to pay. Both Mac and I were equally confident that we would get in without having to pay. The last club on the street didn’t have a cover but was apparently full. I asked the bouncer if I could just use the bathroom and he agreed. I don’t even like clubs but I was happy to be free of Crazy Mac. He was getting on my nerves acting like some big shot.

I went to the bathroom and then walked into the club room. A guy at the first table in the club said something to me. I couldn’t hear what he said so I had to go over to him. He invited me to sit down and have a drink. So I had a few. He was part of a bachelor party. The guy I was talking too didn’t like clubs and pretentious places. We went outside to talk more easily. And to make out without his friends noticing.

The man told me about some cool bars in the area. Then he invited me back to his place. We were going to have sex but he didn’t have a condom. I insisted that he go buy some. “Don’t fall asleep,” he said as I drifted to sleep.

The next morning we both woke up early and had average sex. He told me that he had to leave but that he could take me to the train.

I asked him where he was going. He told me that he was going to visit his son. He was embarrassed. His kid was an accident.He apparently made a mistake with an old girlfriend. I can’t believe that I had to convince HIM to use a condom!

crazy mac


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